Making Big Decisions

So on Monday, I made one of the biggest decisions of my life thus far, and for once it was NOT boy-related or influenced by anyone else.

I’m quitting my uni degree, and I don’t know if I’ll ever come back to it.

I’ve been toying with the idea for months, having realised that I absolutely dread doing my coursework, and would quite literally rather be dusting cob webs than listening to another online tutorial recording.

So, after staring at my computer screen for two hours straight, not being able to come up with more than two coherent sentences for an assignment (that was due that evening) I decided that it was more important for me to walk away from the stupid assignment rather than stress myself  any further. I voiced my concerns with my parents earlier that morning, and it took my lying on my lounge room floor, bawling my eyes out while I listened to Amity’s Youngbloods on vinyl, to realise that I no longer wanted to do this shitty course.

In fact, the only thing that has kept me going is placement, which is generally the complete opposite of most people. I absolutely adore working with school aged children, and helping them learn and explore, but I do NOT want to be the reason that they stress themselves until they’re sick and create unrealistic expectations for things that aren’t going to matter in the real world.

So for the second time in my life I deliberately abandoned an assignment (the last time it was for Economics, which I knew was a sinking ship before I even started it), instead opting to jump in my car and JUST DRIVE.

I ventured up to Kuranda, which is only a 30 minutes’ drive away but feels like a whole other world, where I completed some random walking track and went to see Barron Falls; something that I’ve wanted to do since moving to Cairns but have never ‘found’ the time to do it. Ah, what magic! When you first walk up to that platform you are instantly blown away by the sheer enormity of the place, and that’s even before you spot the waterfall(s). I had previously read how waterfalls emit negative ions, which have a ridiculous amount of benefits for your physical and mental health, so I knew that was the first place I needed to go.

Despite leaving Kuranda feeling content, and possibly ready to tackle that assignment, I didn’t feel that this day of soul searching should be over yet. So I just kept driving. All the way up to Atherton (about an hour) and then Malanda, where I stopped in to see some of my family. I wasn’t expecting to open up to them about my currently messy head, but my uncle ended up having some of the best advice I’ve ever heard, which gave me the courage to make this decision.

From there, I drove home and straight to see some good friends, and I haven’t felt so happy and light in SUCH a long time! Knowing that after this semester I will be free to travel and create and just LIVE is such an exciting feeling, and I feel so liberated knowing that I made this decision myself, for me, and not because I was told to or expected to.

So there you have it folks. Come November, I will officially be uni-less and actually have spare time again, which is exactly what I need right now. I’m hoping to actually go through that list of ‘things I want to do after uni’ and start doing them now. No more wasting time, and now that I won’t be restricted by uni semesters, I can actually take that New Zealand trip, and go to Melbourne and back to Byron and yeah, the future is bright my friends.

I hope if you can take anything away from this is that it’s OK not to have everything sorted out by the time your 20. Or 30. Heck, just live, and enjoy it.

Finishing this before I get too mushy.

Over and out,

Vivienne

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