Late Night/Early Morning Thoughts

So this is the first time in a LONG time that this has actually happened to me. I am NEVER awake at 1:30am, unless I have drank a large amount of alcohol, so tonight’s insomnia has made me a little nostalgic for my teenage years when staying up till 3 and sleeping in till noon was all the rage. My body’s apparent protest of sleep would be totally OK if I didn’t have to work in the morning. But I have tried to go to sleep about 4 times now and no luck. My eyes have given up, they are past the sore stage and are blatantly wide open. My stomach is growling like it is time for breakfast, and I’m debating whether a cup of tea will make things better or worse.

I really don’t understand why I’m still functioning coherently at this hour. Usually I am out solid by 11pm, but I have had a strange combination of worry and excitement keeping me up. Worried, because work is cutting everyone’s hours and I have bills and debts to pay; and excitement because I am going on a road trip to Townsville at the end of next week to finally pick up my bed (which has thrown a spanner into the works because it wasn’t meant to arrive for another few weeks). So, Townsville = new bed and catch ups with old friends. Whilst planning my mini adventure Kodie and I also got to talking about Groovin and finally seeing my future husband Dylan Frost playing live (lead singer of Sticky Fingers for all of those wondering) and just the general grooviness of all things festivals.

In between cooking dinner and cleaning my room and just generally procrastinating, I really let my financial worries get to me tonight. Which is silly, because currently, I’m in a good position for a student who works part time, but the thought of losing hours and potentially buying my parent’s car/fixing mine up and selling it makes my stomach twist with dread. I just keep dreaming of the day when I don’t have to worry about money for things like that. Or better yet, not need to take loans out from family members when things go wrong. I know I’m still young, but not having to stress about money is seriously one of the best feelings in the adult scheme of things, so I really had to stop and remind myself of all the good stuff that’s planned for the coming months ahead.

I’ve nearly reached the halfway mark for this semester, and boy I have no idea how I’ve done it so far. I have definitely bitten off more than I can chew this term, but I’m hoping it pays off in the long run. I’m constantly changing my mind about my career (and constantly scheming about what I can sell to make more money haha) so I really hope that this teaching degree ends up being useful to me. Or at the very least, provides me with the opportunity to teach overseas and live in a cute little beach shack where I can write and read in my spare time. Ah, bliss.

So we’ve been living in our unit for nearly 3 months now (I know this purely because our rent advance payment has nearly been used up) and I still haven’t got my room together. Typical me, always the dreamer and never finding the time, or mostly MONEY to execute things. I still need to make a ‘hat wall’,  a coat rack and get my shit together with all of my plants. I always forget how busy I get during the uni semester. I’ve been pretty lucky so far in regards to still having a social life, and managing to switch things around so I can still visit my family regularly and do fun stuff. But damn do I miss the freedom not having to schedule your time.

Okay, I think I’ve ranted enough. This post, as per usual, has no particular meaning or theme, and I apologise for still lacking in the ‘getting my shit together’ department. I promise one day soon, this blog will have the content that I actually created it to showcase.

Until next time,

Vivienne

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