Unwanted Pondering Moments

So I’m having one of those tragic moments where I’m all: “why the hell am I even doing this course? I don’t want to learn about embedded clauses and noun groups, I just want to write and go to festivals and have a nice guitar playing husband! How does this help me achieve that?!”

Uni is really getting to me this week. It’s completely my own fault, because I was slack as hell last week and I’m paying for it now, but sometimes I really don’t understand how learning all this stuff will help me become a better teacher. Or better yet – how am I supposed to TEACH kids this crap when i can’t even understand it myself?

My literacy and numeracy subject is the worst. You’d think it would be fairly straightforward because we all learnt this shit back in grade 1, but no. It’s ridiculous. My textbook is actually butchering every magical thing that makes me enjoy freelance writing. All of the things that I thought were just natural habit and common sense apparently have a meaning and strategic purpose behind them. How unromantic!

I’m too scared to pick up a book in case I start examining the verb placements instead of the actual storyline.

Yuck!

Anyway, I’m mostly just whinging because I am quickly realising that these next three years are going to be super tough, and I’m not sure if I even want to go through it all for a degree that I only kind of want?

Damn am I confused!

I am definitely going to end up as one of those people who have about 5 attempted degrees under their belt, and only one that they’ve graduated from (if I’m lucky). There are just so many things that I want to try, and being stuck in this degree for 3 more years is kind of dragging that all down. I’m very lost, and very behind on this week’s coursework.

Any advice? What the hell am I supposed to do?

I couldn’t care less about the hecs fees that this adventure will rack up, but I’m just not sure if my heart is in this. I love the idea of being able to teach kids new things and being a positive role model for them, but the shit we have to teach them is hard and boring! No wonder why so many children struggle. I would much rather be an art teacher (and if I was even remotely artistic I totally would go that way) but just this whole background learning shit is really getting me down.

Anyway, rant over.

Maybe that journalism course will be calling me sooner than I expected.

Ciao,

Vivienne

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